The Morning After
by Life-Drawing-Wizard
Summary: Not what you think it is. Gilbert wants Kit-Kats. Sorry it's really cruddy. Happy belated Halloween! Rated T for some mouth.


****A/N: _I'm really that this is lame and short and so insanely _late_ but my real Halloween fic is taking longer than my zero free time will allow, so this is what you get._

_Happy belated Halloween!_

* * *

His head hurt, his hips hurt, oh for the love- _everything was sore_.

The sunlight streaming through the window next to Gilbert's bed was burning his retinas through the thin skin of his eyelids, so the albino turned on his side and OH _SHIT_.

"Ow, ow, _ow_, OW_, OW_!" Gilbert moaned.

Oh gosh, oh gosh, his legs hurt so friggin _much_.

This was worse than the time that he and Eliza had dressed as police officers.

And that night had involved _handcuffs._

"You know, if you groan in italics it doesn't make it better."

"Liz, why did we go trick-or-treating again?"

"Correction: Why did _you _go trick-or-treating again? You're way too old for this stuff. Now get your ass out of bed before I smack it out."

Gilbert pried his eyelids open to look at his girlfriend, "Liz, do you remember that time we went to the Halloween party dressed as police officers?"

A pair of jeans was thrown in the albino's face.

"Less talking, more dressing," the Hungarian said testily.

A few minutes later, Gilbert stumbled into the kitchen, wondering why the hell he was awake and dressed before noon.

"Why am I getting ready, again?" he asked.

Eliza looked at her boyfriend with an expression that suggested he had just asked why breathing was good, "We're going shopping."

Gilbert thought about this statement.

Opened his mouth.

Closed it.

Thought about it some more.

"Nope," he decided, "Still doesn't make sense. What did you just say?"

"I said we're going shopping," Eliza said grabbing her purse.

"See, that's what I thought you said," Gilbert looked confused, "But that's funny because–

"This isn't funny."

Eliza held back a laugh as her sleep-deprived boyfriend pulled into a parking space in front of Target.

"This is the fourth store we've visited today and, so far, no one has any Kit-Kats left. What is this world _coming to_?" Gilbert groaned.

"C'mon Gil, maybe they'll have Kit-Kats here," Eliza prodded.

"That's what you said the last two times," Gil reminded her, "And I still don't have my Kit-Kats."

The Hungarian woman shrugged her shoulders and waltzed into the store, albino in tow.

As soon as they entered, Gilbert shivered, "What the _hell?_ I'm sorry if this store isn't enough of an _icebox _for you!"

"Gilbert, stop using italics, you're confusing small children," Eliza scolded, pulling her boyfriend to the Halloween left-overs sale.

"So, let me get this strait," Gilbert asked as Eliza rummaged through some clothes on the clearance rack, "The day after Halloween, everyone sells their previously free candy, for a dirt poor price, yes, and people _buy _it? And they don't have any damn Kit-Kats! Dammit Eliza! You lied again!"

The albino man marched over to the candy rack and gestured to the extreme lack of his favorite candy so his girlfriend could see.

Liz glanced over for a moment, "That's awesome, dear. No be a sweetheart and help me look for a medium."

Muttering about improper use of the word 'awesome', Gilbert grudgingly helped his girlfriend find the shirt she was looking for.

The kept walking for a while, Elizabeta considering different drastically reduced items while Gilbert trudged along behind, trying to stay awake.

It was in between tired blinks of his ruby red eyes that Gilbert spotted them.

Gloriously red, beautifully packaged (individually, of course) their letters spelling out the words Gilbert had longed to read all day.

"Kit-Kats!" the albino exclaimed, making the people around him jump and one lady hiss "Shhh!" (though for what purpose, he wasn't entirely sure).

Eliza stared at her boyfriend, "What do you mean? Did you see some?"

Gilbert nodded excitedly, grabbing Eliza's hand and dragging her into the next isle, "Bags of them!"

No one was in the next isle except a mom with her toddler and a…was that the Easter Bunny?

But who has time to think of such trivial things as the Easter Bunny when there are Kit-Kats to be had?

Running now, Gilbert raced after the basket he had seen, positive that it at least _existed_.

His girlfriend wasn't so convinced and she complained for a ways until Gilbert said, "Liz, they're _Kit-Kats._ I saw them. I _swear_." and she shuts up, except for muttering something about italics.

When the get outside, Gilbert is frantic.

Eliza is still unconvinced until he exclaims, "FOUND IT!"

It's a dark black minivan, like one you would see government agents using in movies, but Gilbert is squinting through the glass.

Bags.

And bags.

And more bags.

Of _Kit-Kats._

"What is this?" Elizabeta wonders as Gilbert paces around the car, trying to find a point of entry.

"This," Gilbert says, gesturing to the vehicle, "Is Arthur Kirkland's car."

"Really?" Eliza demands, "_He's_ the one who's been stealing all your candy."

Gilbert shrugged, "Actually, the car's Amelia's, but Arthur's by extension."

The albino resumed studying the car as Eliza tries to understand why _anyone_ would want _that many _Kit-Kats.

Finally, Gilbert turned to his girlfriend, "It's my destiny. Do you still remember how to hot wire a car?"

Liz sighs, "Sure. But we're sending this back as soon as you've emptied it. And if you eat all of this and get sick I'm so breaking up with you."

Gilbert beamed, "Love you too!"


End file.
